Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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