Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
