how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
