that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
