I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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