chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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