id be glad to
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
