You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
