Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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