Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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