I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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