The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well you can't waste a boner
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
