How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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