Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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