you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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