No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
