so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
