I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
