In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
