One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
