I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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