I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
