my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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