I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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