i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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