Need sex. Gaining weight.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
