ugly people sure do ruin things
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The uberlube is also flammable
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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