I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
