I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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