What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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