i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
