I hate all girls vehemently.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
