So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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