Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
