i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize