my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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