girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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