So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
