I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
