i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
