you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she looked like the before picture.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
