ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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