Betty ford says i'm here all night
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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