connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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