I hate all girls vehemently.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
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