he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
