we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
