i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
