One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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