she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
