Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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