we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize