I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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