"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
