Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
