Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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