He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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