my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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