You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize