How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
