OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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