The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize