it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
