Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
