Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
