Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
