I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
