you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
