dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
