Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
