Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
