I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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