He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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