Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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