the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
love makes seman taste better
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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