you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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